Weary. It’s the status of my soul as we arrive at this Christmas season. Somehow in my head I have this idea that if we can just make it past New Years without another funeral – things will get better next year. I waver between letting myself feel the overwhelming, all consuming panic and fear that the ones I love will be ripped away from me tomorrow morning without warning, or even time to say goodbye. And the other half of the time I’m elbow deep in projects, laundry, online shopping and The Vampire Diaries – trying to stay numb enough that I don’t have a moment to stop and worry. It’s exhausting. And it’s been a cycle on repeat for months now. So approaching Christmas this one word perfectly defines my heart: weary.
I am so very weary.
I think we force a lot of things around the holidays. Small talk, gift giving, parties and decorations. I’ve felt a bit lost in the whirlwind this year, trying to summon up enough joy to pass for Christmas Spirit.
Sometimes we scramble for the appropriate amount of thankfulness, for the silver lining in circumstances – for the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.
But in truth, when Scripture tells us to be thankful in all circumstances – it’s Jesus we are to be thankful for. For the salvation He offers, for the sacrifice He made, for the grace He gives freely. We don’t have to summon up the Christmas Spirit, or find Hallmark-worthy-happiness within ourselves during this holiday season. Our joy is in Jesus, in the story of His birth and what it means for our weariness.
It’s okay to arrive weary this year. Rejoice in the truth that a Savior is born, and He has taken the weariness of the world on His shoulders because of His great love for you.
Rejoice that because of Jesus, funerals are not the end.
Rejoice, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.